Monday, October 29, 2007
Alone
Being an only child, I always felt the need to be with friends all of the time so that I filled that empty space in my life. My parents own a chain of drug stores, so I have always been out with friends and family for most of my life while my parents ran the business. Because of my past experiences, I never thought I would miss being alone. I wanted to go out and meet people. I'm always one to go out, and I was rarely alone in highschool, or so I thought. Don't get me wrong, I'm a very social person and I love being with others. But once in a while, it's just nice to be alone. I didn't realize how much "alone time" I had in my past years. When I would come home from school, I would have the house to myself until about 6:30 or 7 to get everything that I needed to done. Now, I'm in a triple with two other really social girls, so my room is always filled with people coming and going. Our hallway is extremely comfortable with one another so it's very common for people to just stop in randomly to chat. Being directly across from the laundry room, I get at least two people a week asking to just hang out in my room while their laundry finishes. Although I have met tons of really cool people this way, it gets old. I never thought I'd miss just sitting in bed and reading alone, or anything like that. I actually enjoy my walks to class in the morning because of the fact that it's just time to think. In college, my life is constantly in drive. I thought that I was busy in highschool with cheerleading, pole-vaulting, community service, and coaching all week, but I was wrong. Those events allowed for some free time which was nice. I think that that's one thing that people in college miss about driving, the freedom of being by yourself. Over the weekend I stayed at URI to visit my boyfriend, and I asked him if he missed the feeling of being alone too. He said that he did. His roommate has been in the hospital for the last month, so he's had a single. Even with this, the constant idea that you live in a dorm with a bunch of other people doesn't give you the accurrate alone time that you need. At first I didn't see why, but now I do. I'm sitting here right now with both of my roommates out for the night. Although I am alone, I can still hear the normal sounds of the boys in the room nextdoor playing halo, and the boys on the other side of me practicing for his acapello performance coming up, as he does every night. I can hear the rumbling of the washing machines, especially washer #18 which goes insane whenever it's down to the last 10 minutes. Lastly, I can hear all of the people waiting for the laundry to finish. So in a sense, I'm never really alone. That has been a huge change for me in college.
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1 comment:
the only child needs her "alone time"...no kidding. I really enjoyed this post. I am sort of an "only"--I am the oldest of three boys. The other two are 7 and 10 years younger than me. They say that your personality is shaped by your first 5 years, so, that means that I'm technically an only child.
I can tell you, and this has become a joke with my wife, I need a CONSIDERABLE amount of what we call:
"Personal Mike Time." If I dont' get it, I start to go crazy and I'm unhappy. In large part, I have realized that part of the reason I've chosen my career is because of this need. I enjoy the social aspects of teaching, but need large chunks of time to be alone and working--reading and writing--in order to be happy. So, it's not just you. I have come, over the years, to put a good deal of stock in what's called "birth order theory"--the idea that your birth order (or status, in the case of the only child) shape your personality. Read more here, if you like:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_order
and here is the section on "only children":
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_order#Only_children
Thanks for sharing. This passage, by the way, was one of hte most lovely passages of writing I have read this year (concrete, specific and clear--it really gave me a great sense of what your living arrangements are like...wonderful writing):
I'm sitting here right now with both of my roommates out for the night. Although I am alone, I can still hear the normal sounds of the boys in the room nextdoor playing halo, and the boys on the other side of me practicing for his acapello performance coming up, as he does every night. I can hear the rumbling of the washing machines, especially washer #18 which goes insane whenever it's down to the last 10 minutes. Lastly, I can hear all of the people waiting for the laundry to finish. So in a sense, I'm never really alone. That has been a huge change for me in college.
thanks for sharing.
mm
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