birth order

In one of my last posts, I wrote about my only child problem of now needing alone time. Professor Michaud kindly shared with me this site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_order#Only_children which really described what I feel in a nutshell. I've always wondered why people act the way that they do, and it usually does lead to other circumstances, maybe this is why one of my majors is Psychology. For example, my best friend refuses to get into a serious relationship until she is twenty-one. This stems from having an alcoholic father. I have learned that every behavior results from some sort of pattern in your life. One way to study these patterns is certainly through birth order. I admit, I am VERY spoiled. My dad grew up in a family of seven, so he never had the chance to be really spoiled and he had to work for what he got. Because of this, he feels as if I shouldn't be treated differently. I can see his reasoning, I would not want to become someone who is so dependent on their parents that I cannot rely on myself. My mother on the other hand, loves to spoil me. She grew up in a family where her mother was a great friend to her. Although they didn't have much money, her mother would do whatever she could to support my mom. My mom feels as if this should be the same for me. Although the views are opposing between my parents, my mom usually wins. It's usually a matter of "don't tell your father I bought you so much clothes" or "Shh, lets keep these new shoes a secret. If he asks, you found them in your closet." I love this type of behavior! Wikipedia suggests that this could lead to problems with selfishness. Because I grew up with both views, I like to think that I'm not selfish. I work for my money, and I've held steady jobs since I was 14. Although my mom does spoil me, I know the value of a dollar. Another reason that this has rubbed off on me is now I love to spoil people. Kids in highschool would joke that I would be first on their birthday list because of the presents that I give. I love to see other people happy because of something that I did. I think that this is because of my mom.

I don't think that the second section of this paragraph applies to me all of the time. Wikipedia states that "Another view of only children, as noted by Alissa Eischens in her paper The Dilemma of the Only Child is that they learn to be children on their own, they learn to depend on themselves, and they have no problem being loners." I would hate to be alone ALL of the time. I love to be with friends, I just need some alone time once in a while. I'm very big into thinking through things instead of fighting. I never thought that this was because of my past, but I am now thinking it's very possible. I never fight because growing up I had nobody to fight with. I have never hit anybody or physically hurt someone else on purpose. Whenever I fight with my boyfriend, I always say things like "I think we should hang up, I need some space to think." He is a person that wants to get it all out now and work it through before the phone call is over. I need my space sometimes to think. This topic is so interesting to me, thank you Professor Michaud for sharing this!